Hello Darkness My Old Friend

Hello again
Go away
Awww, what's the matter? Didn't you miss me?
No, now fuck off. I'm not in the mood.
Really? I'm pretty sure I'm here because of your mood.
.....
Why don't you just face facts. You'll never be rid of me.
Really? I'm pretty sure I've gotten rid of you before.
No, you have simply pushed me down, hidden me under other emotions, but you have never truly gotten rid of me. Every time your happy, I'm there in the back of your mind, telling you to be on your guard. Every time you lay your head down you hear my whispers. Face it, you missed me. No matter what happens, I've always been there. Your more comfortable in my arms than even your wife's.
It isn't that I am comfortable around you, quit the opposite in fact. Its just that...
What? That its easier? Easier to hide behind me than actually go out and fight? Easier to blame your failings on me rather than face up to them like a man? Let's be real here, I'm you, or at least a part of you. I know the parts of you hidden from the rest of the world, hell I know what you aren't writing on here now.
So?
So? So! So I know that you really think that this is simply a way to whine, and you hate yourself an little more for even writing these words. I know that really deep down all you want is for someone to pay you in the head and say its OK. Its OK to hide, to not engage with the rest of the world, to ignore your family and hide in a screen because its easier. Your weak, and you know it. Sure, you say you'll change, but how many times have you said that? How many times have you pushed me down? And yet I always come back, and you welcome it.
I hate you.
I know you do, and you know what? That's what gives me my power. You know how to get rid of me for good, and yet you don't. Now why is that?
You know what? Your absolutely right. I can't get rid of you. I have tried dam near everything, and yet here you are. But I think I have found a way to accept you. After all, your a part of me, and as much as I hate you, in the end I am only hating myself, which only makes you stronger. And your wrong. This situation isn't as hopeless as you make it seem. I am not unique, hell I'm not even all that special. There have been countless instances of people who were just like me, people who were worse off than me by in measurable amounts, and they came through. They survived, they got over you and they were better for it.
But they aren't you, and you don't have what it takes.
I'm 28 years old, I'm still standing, and you haven't beaten me yet.