Monkey Tales
By Paul Cook
Once upon a time, a
long time ago, when the world was not so old, there was a monster.
Now, this monster was not your typical monster; she did not have
sharp fangs or scary claws, she did not try to pop out from under
beds and scare little boys and girls (although sometimes she would
growl at them) in fact some would say she was the prettiest monster
in all the land. But she had a terrible secret; you see, in this land
there were also dragons, and usually monsters and dragons did not
play together. But this monster liked dragons a lot. She liked how
they flew around in the air, she liked how they blew fire in great
burst, she even liked some of the silly games they played. But in
monster land monsters only played with monsters and dragons only
played with dragons. And so this monster would spend her days playing
with the other monsters, but always with one eye towards the sky,
secretly wishing she was up there.
Then one day, along
came a dragon. This dragon was not like other dragons. For one, he
could not fly. Oh sure, he could hover from time to time; which he
would practice in private, far away from prying eyes. He also did not
like to play with the other dragons, he found them too airy for his
taste. He would much rather play with the monsters, they always
seemed to have a lot more fun. There was one monster in particular
that has caught his eye, she was a very pretty monster, and she
seemed like she was always smiling and happy. But the dragon was very
intimidated by this monster, he didn't think that she would ever want
to play with him. And she had a lot of friends, and none of them
seemed to like dragons, so he figured that she did not like dragons
either. And so he would hide in his cave, hovering, watching the
monsters have fun, and wondering when he would be able to fly.
And it so happened
that both the monster and the dragon were friends with a grumpy old
troll. This troll was very mean and grumpy, and does not matter very
much. His only roll in this story is that he introduces the dragon
and the monster. But just remember, he was a very mean and grumpy
troll.
The monster and the
dragon got to know each other, and over the years they became very
good friends. But the monster was sad, she could not find any other
boy monster to play with, and she didn't think that the dragon would
ever want to play with her. But one day she decided that she would
try, she heard about a secret spell that was contained in a special
movie, if you play this movie then any boy that you are with will
kiss you! So she cast the spell, and what do you know, it worked!
From then on the monster and the dragon were inseparable, they played
together all the time, and they kissed a lot too. Also, unbeknownst
to either of them, the dragons wings had slowly begun to grow.
But all was not
right in the land. You see, a long time ago there was these ancient
jungle people who were very smart. They built huge houses that were
made completely out of stone, they could do really hard math and
science problems before a lot of people could add one plus one and
come up with the same answer, some say they even talked to little men
from outer space! Anyway, these jungle people came up with an exact
day the world was going to blow up, and as that day got closer and
closer more and more people got really nervous. The monster and the
dragon were smarter than these sheep, but all this talk made them
take a long hard look at their lives and what they were doing with
it. Now, the monster had always wanted a little monkey to play with,
and since she had finally met a dragon who really really loved her
she wanted to start talking about that little monkey. But the dragon
wasn't so sure. Until he had met the monster he had never wanted
little people of any kind in his life. But after being with her for
so long he knew that his life wouldn't be complete until there was a
little monkey he could play with too. And so, very soon after making
this decision, there was a little monkey swimming around in the
monsters tummy.
They had many grand
adventures getting ready for the coming of the monkey, some of which
I will tell you about one day. But the grandest adventure of all was
the day before and the day of your birth. The day before you were to
come the monster and the dragon got everything ready. They packed up
their clothes, they picked out some of their favorite books to read
so they wouldn't get bored, and the monster picked her favorite
stuffed animal to snuggle with. Then they drove down to a local inn
so that they could be close to the wizards castle, who was going to
help make the little monkey appear. But unbeknownst to them, a storm
was rolling in. When they got to the inn they soon realized that it
was infested with all manner of trolls and goblins and the lowest
forms of life. Even though the dragon was a big, strong dragon, and
the monster had brought along her big strong monster brother, they
still did not feel very safe. And then the power went out. Soon after
they heard reports of cars getting broken into, of the trolls and the
goblins getting into fights, and so they decided that they were going
to leave that inn and find somewhere safer. A blizzard had begun
blowing outside, and the dragon famously said “it doesn't look too
bad.” So they all piled into the carriage, and sped away. What they
didn't know was that they were actually at the edge of the storm, and
as they got closer and closer into town the storm became worse and
worse. The snow became fat and thick and heavy, the wind wooshing it
all around. The sky grew as dark as midnight, and soon they were one
of the few carriages still on the road, which was only because the
dragon had driven roads like this for a very long time and knew
exactly how to handle them. But even still, they didn't know if they
were going to make it. Eventually though, they finally made it to an
inn that was much safer and closer than the one they had been at
before. They checked in and went fell right to sleep.
And then, it was
time. The monster, the dragon, and the monsters little brother all
went to see the wizard in his castle. They were all very nervous and
excited as they made their way up to the castle, they couldn't wait
to see the little monkey! The monster wanted it over and done with
right away, but the wizard said that it was going to take a long time
before the monkey would be here. There were a lot of spells and
rituals he had to do first, and he had to talk to other wizards and
magicians. “So get comfortable,” he said, “your in for a bumpy
ride.” So they all got comfortable, and pretty soon the monsters
mommy was there too! Now it was a real party! There was singing, and
dancing, and telling stories, and lots of good things to eat (for
most of them anyway, the monster wasn't allowed to eat anything but
ice because it would mess up the spells.) But finally, it was time
for the monkey to appear. There was a lot of chanting, a lot of
waving of magical powders and potions, even the monsters younger
brother and mommy started chanting (the dragon just stood there and
held the monsters hand. He had forgotten how to talk) But finally,
after a lot of pushing, the little monkey finally appeared. The
monster thought that he was the most beautiful thing she had ever
seen. His tail was very long and looked super strong, his fur was the
deepest chocolate she had ever seen, his eyes were so blue they
seemed to be filled with diamonds, and his voice sounded like that of
an angel. The dragon thought he looked liked a little old man. Once
they cleaned all the goo off of him, the monster finally got to hold
her little monkey for the first time. Everybody was smiling and
crying and singing all at once, but the little monkey just looked at
the monster. “Hi,” he seemed to be saying, “I've been waiting
for you.” Then the wizard gave the little monkey to the dragon, and
as he held him, his wings got bigger and bigger until he was flying
around the room.
And so that, my
son, is one of the many adventures that we have been on together.
Now, close your eyes and dream, and tomorrow night I'll tell you
about another adventure. Good night, my little monkey, good night.
